oh GOSH.

so yikes, i haven't written in a really long time. like maybe a whole year?

well, world, you may have your blogs, but i have facebook and a REAL journal. but i'm two--no THREE months behind now! i have basically no time during my studies, so i write little notes in my planner of important things i did everyday (to me, everything is important!)

ahhhh, so how to sum up my life? probably won't try.

but i DO think i can sum up everything going on right now, at least. as of today, only THIRTY-SIX days until Travis comes home....and i have no idea how i feel about that. obviously excited, no doubt. but this is the crossroads that i've been waiting for--for 3 years, actually. and i already know that i won't see him @ his homecoming because i don't have the money to go, and my parents already have plans to travel elsewhere that same weekend. but do i want to meet him fresh off the misch (mission, but the "provo" way of shortening it)? i hear lots of guys that come home generally shy away from hugging girls, and i don't want to go all the way there and have to deal w/ that sort of awkwardness. could you imagine it? everyone speculating on how we feel for each other, or what will happen in the future? ugh, unwanted drama. and my mom's like, "he owes it to YOU to visit us in Kansas, why should you go fly to him? you've only written him every week the entire time!" so i'm bracing myself to see what the future brings. do i like him? you betcha. do i wonder if he feels the same way for me? ugh, you betcha.


also, i'm pounding my brain to get my ideas for DS (my novel-to-be) through my fingers and onto my laptop. there's so much buzzing around, but i just need zero destractions to get them all out, otherwise it's hours before i have three pages to read and edit. but it's coming

i also have the longest summer reading list ever. like not even kidding. i want to read the complete works of shakespeare--his plays mainly (he wrote a ton of poems and sonnets). so far i've read 19/37, boo-yahh! right now i'm reading "comedy of errors" and so far it's about two sets of twins that get confused the whole time. basically i was confused the whole first act until i realized that THAT was the case! nej, for søren!

eh, i don't feel like writing more, perhaps when i have something else on my mind.